Coming from experience in dating someone who was married(after finding out he lied to me) it's better to leave the married men alone because all they're doing is using you and you deserve better than that. What can a married man offer you that a single guy can't give you? Dealing with a divorced man who's been with a lot of women is someone you don't need to be around. I actually liked a guy who was divorced and he was known to be a player and he seemed to have a high preference for silly bimbos who hang on guys like a coat rack. I chucked him into the trash because he wasnt worth the time wasted and I could do better than someone else's leftovers.

You're not out of luck you just need to find another way of going about the dating scene and not establish relationships to men who are not available to you. When women are getting involved with other women's husbands and boyfriends knowing full well they're taken there's something they're missing in their lives that they try to substitute with involving themselves with an attached man. You can do a lot better than someone else's husband or significant other. A woman who wants a healthy relationship with a man will not find it when he's taken or married. You won't get hurt if you don't set yourself up to get hurt and getting involved with men who are unavailable and have excess baggage is the fastest way to get hurt because these are the men you don't want to involve yourself with EVER!!!!!!!!!! You have a lot to offer a good man, but let him see the woman that you are who is wanting something serious and who's not just going to settle for less.

first what is the situation between you and this line coordinator. What conflicted these issues , do you believe that you have stabbed this women in the back. I just want to let you know that everyone is not perfect , we all have our flaws and sometimes it is our flaws that make us beautiful. I would give you some advice If I knew the situation that you are going through. For now all I can say is If you feel any trend of guilt from your doings then this means that you are aware that you have done wrong to this women. but on the other hand you must take up for yourself. I believe the answer is in your heart. I hope things work out.

kj_us... I can hear your pain and struggle.  I certainly identify with and understand what you are writing.  The numbness you feel when you think of the past I suspect is a freezing of your emotions.  If you have read my diary you know that I continue to struggle with this.  It is an aspect of the flight or fight phenomenon.  The problem is when a child or anyone person is abused and there can be no flight or fight then the body, mind, emotions, spirit, etc. goes into freeze mode.   It isn't easy to come out of freeze mode but it is possible.  I read a book last year that my body trauma therapist loaned me called Walking the Tiger.  It is all about how the flight or fight phenomenon works and what happens when one must go into freeze mode and techniques on how to unthaw. 

I believe with healing there comes a healthy detachment from the past.  Memories can be recalled without causing further trauma.  They just become part of memory and the past but it is different from the numbness experienced when in freeze mode.  Freeze mode isn't healthy and cause further trauma to the body, mind, and spirit.  I have learned through body trauma therapy that healing needs to take place at the cellular level.  The cells of our bodies literally carry the memories and effects of those memories in them.  I know that most people today are concentrating on just dealing with the memories as they affect the mind but I have come to believe for myself that the deeper healing comes when the body is healed along with the mind.  Sometimes also talk therapy can be a retraumization while body trauma therapy sort of bypasses the mind circuit and goes straight to the issue at the cellular level.  It is a less traumatic form of therapy.

As for telling yourself each day you are a good person it is so very true.  You do need to ingrain this into yourself.  Have you read my entries on tapping and EFT techniques?  They can help you reverse the effects of negative messages more quickly.  For each negative message that you heard and said to yourself it takes a thousand times of telling yourself the positive to erase it.  Tapping and EFT help to reroute the electrical pathways more quickly and efficiently.  They can effectively deadend the negative messages and cut off your electrical pathways to those messages by replacing them with positive messages.

If you would like to talk with me more about this or anything let me know.  I am willing to exchange email addresses if you think I might be able to help you in your healing journey.  MD

Thanks for ur comment..but it's not all weight issues. I'm not that fat but it's on little topics too

I just realized....for me to receive notes at inthewire...you'd need a diary!  I hope you'll consider making one there...it's free and the people, (most of them!) are awesome!

Love,

Hi Thanks for stopping by my diary. I have not been here for awhile. If I can help you. Let me know.

Best Wishes,

IrishRose